The Ripple Effect of “It’s my way or the highway”

Ever heard this? “It’s my way or the highway!” or maybe “You do it this damn way or you’re outta here sunshine.” If you haven’t heard these kind of quotes, then you may have heard something similar during work hours. You may have even been the one to say these types of sentences.

Unfortunately, it’s these types of strong statements which are increasing the calls coming through to Tradie HR this year. Employees are sick and tired of these aggressively loaded statements being continuously thrown at them. They’re done with being expected to “swallow a concrete pill” to tolerate these statements and get back to work.

Often, I am being called in to deal with staff complaints as to how they are being made to feel, telling me that they are being made to feel stupid or threatened. They’re heading home to their flatmates or families, feeling gutted and deflated.

One employee told me recently that they had been asked to ignore non-compliance issues regarding Health & Safety. They were told to “do what I say and don’t question my decisions.”

These statements are pushing people to do things that are legally unacceptable, putting themselves and their workplaces at risk. Interestingly, this employee then resigned from his company’s H&S committee because they had been told they were not allowed to record near misses and, sometimes, even accidents – in other words, being asked to break the law.

The ripple effect – your words matter

So why, if you’re a business owner or team leader, should you stop and think about what’s about to come out of your mouth? It’s because not only can your words make an instant impact, but they can have a huge – and often – long term impact on your team, yourself and your business.

A “my way or the highway” point of view reflects an actual mindset, highlighting a rigid and combative approach to leadership and decision-making. It sends an ultimatum where questioning is not tolerated, and only one path – that path dictated to by the leader – is the acceptable one.

This approach may achieve short-term compliance or force people to make quick decisions, but it can also lead to long-term consequences. Damages such as low employee morale, high absenteeism, low staff retention and productivity and, the kicker – a company with a bad reputation to work for – the ripple effect is huge.

Your words can also see you pay a lot of money and give you more quality time in your lawyer’s office, instead of on your local work-site.

One such employer got to experience this ripple effect after telling his team to come to a meeting with no advanced notice. He sat them down and bluntly told them there was no work for them and it was all their fault. As you can guess, some of these guys, many of whom had worked for him for several years, were left in a state of shock.

Of course, with any business, there’s always a risk that at some stage you may have to layoff staff, but if you’re going to do it, use a process to help your people understand the rationale for the decision.

Then always give these employees an opportunity to propose some alternatives and allow them a fair and reasonable time frame. You may think this is a “nice to have”, but it’s part of New Zealand employment law. And, yes, you guessed correctly, this employer ended up spending a lot more time in his lawyer’s office, and had to dig even deeper into his pockets, at a time when he really couldn’t afford to.

Getting the right ripples

So how can you make sure you’re saying the right thing to get the right ripples in place.

First, check your words and the tone that comes with it. Words can either build people up or break them down – and our words are powerful.

Swap out some of these outdated phrases with some more appropriate and productive ones to help create a more engaging and positive vibe in the workplace.

This also means checking the tone that comes with them – check that it’s not layered in a sarcastic tone that undermines what you’ve just said.

Next up, sleep on it. Often, we choose words that cause long-term damage in the heat of the moment. So, the next time when you hear something that really ticks you off, walk away and sleep on it before you decide to give your feedback.

Removing yourself from the situation helps you to gain some perspective that could, quite literally, save your thousands of dollars. In fact, I often say that I’d probably reduce my disciplinary work by about 50% if people just “slept on it” before they acted on their frustrations and made bold, brash statements.

Finally, check and shift your mindset. Yes, “back in your day” may have been a lot better, and you may have been a lot tougher – but in comparison to what? Our trades are becoming increasingly diverse, and it’s essential to create a workplace where everyone feels valued and respected, regardless of where they have come from or how long they have been working. This shift not only improves morale but also attracts more people who want to come and work for a company where all voices are heard.

Final note:

So next time you are tempted to use an outdated phrase like the ones above, try swapping it out for one of the new replacement sayings and see what happens. I reckon it won’t be long before all those outdated sayings are being kicked firmly down the highway!

This article is not intended to be a replacement for legal advice